He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
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You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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