Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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