it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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