Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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