they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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