I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
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Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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