just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize