do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize