i just wanna soil my oats bro
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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