Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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