if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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