so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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