Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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