Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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