mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize