i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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