I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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