There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize