True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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