I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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