the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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