if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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