Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize