let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize