take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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