My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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