If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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