genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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