This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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