Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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