we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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