But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
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No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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You took a bar mat shot.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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