I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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