I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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