They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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