Betty ford says i'm here all night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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