I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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