We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize