I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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