ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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