The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize