I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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