I like to think it a success when the cops are called
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize