if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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