i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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