youre lurking in front of me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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