drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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