after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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