I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize