i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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